The Spiritual Maxims of St. Francis de Sales

[Denise]

On Marriage

It is a happy thing when two souls meet who love each other only in order to love God better.

What God unites cannot be separated.

If the glue is good, two pieces of fir glued together will cleave so fast to each other that they can be more easily broken in any other place than where they were joined.

[Denise]

Love equalizes lovers.

The state of marriage is one which requires more virtue and constancy than any other; it is a perpetual exercise of mortification.

Marriage is an order in which the profession must be made before the novitiate.

[Denise]

As for those who are married, chastity consists not in abstaining absolutely from carnal pleasures, but in restraining themselves in the midst of pleasures.

How agreeable to God are the virtues of a married woman.

The well-being of a household depends on the parent's words, but far more on their behavior.

[Denise]

The home is not a convent.

The closest and most fruitful union between husband and wife is that which is effected in holy devotion.

He that does not wish to receive lodgers should take down the signboard from his house.

[Denise]

On the Care of Souls

There is no soil so barren but that diligent tenderness brings forth some fruit.

The most perfect care is that which approaches nearest to the care which God has of us, which is a care full of peace and quietness, and which in its highest activity has still no emotion.

It is not a good excuse to say: I have no breasts, I have no milk; for it is not with our own milk or our own breasts that we feed the children of God.

[Denise]

There are many good doctors who are far from being in good health, and there are many beautiful paintings made by ugly painters.

The care of souls is as a burden of sweet cinnamon, which, by its invigorating scent, revives those who bear it.

A very impure soul can attain a perfect purity if well assisted.

[Denise]

Do the Seraphim despise the little Angels, do the great saints despise the less?

He who seeks only the glory of God finds it in poverty as in abundance.

Remember that the practice of devotion must be adapted to the strength, the employment, and the duties of each one in particular.

[Denise]

We must not marvel that each herb and flower in a garden requires its special care.

Do not require more perfection from others than from yourself.

Be more indulgent toward others and more disciplinary with yourself.

[Denise]

True zeal pardons certain things, or at least winks at them until the appropriate time and place for correcting them.

If you press a man, you oppress him; if you irritate him, you lose hold of him.

Admonition is naturally bitter, but when mixed with the sugar of loving-kindness, and warned by the fire of charity, it becomes acceptable, gracious and very cordial.

[Denise]

One can catch more flies with a spoon full of honey, than with a hundred barrels of vinegar.

Love is a magistrate who exercises his authority without noise, without policemen or sergeants.

Do you know how I test the value of a preacher? If the listeners go away striking their breasts, saying: "Today I will do better"; not by their saying: "What a wonderful sermon."

[Denise]

The remonstrances of a father given gently and affectionately have much more power to correct the child than those which are given angrily and wrathfully.

We must fight back with affection and not with reason.

What you see can be done with love you must do; what can only be done with debate must be left alone.

[Denise]

He who preaches with love preaches sufficiently against heretics, though he say not a single word of controversy against them.

One single good work done with a tranquil spirit is worth far more than several done with eagerness.

All the defects which occur in a good work do not spoil the essential goodness; wherever goodness comes from we must love it.

[Denise]

On the Religious Life

There is nothing so blessed as a devout religious, nothing so miserable as a religious without devotion.

Since you cannot be in real solitude, be in mental solitude.

Religious Orders are not formed for the purpose of gathering together perfect people, but those who have the courage to aim at perfection.

[Denise]

When God calls anyone to be a religious, He binds himself to bestow on that person all that is needed for perfection in his vocation.

We must not think that in entering Religion one becomes perfect all of a sudden, but that one enters there to tend to perfection.

The Religious life is not a natural life; it is above nature, and its soul is given and formed by grace.

[Denise]

It is God, and not the cell, that we must choose for our dwelling place.

As religious who have left the world ought to wish never to see it again, so the world which has left them never wants to see them again.

We must bear with this inconvenience of the love of our relations and friends who think there is no comparison between the satisfaction of being with them and that which is found in the course of God's service.