15 Things Southerners Can't Stand

[Denise]

Southerners are the easiest people in the world to get along with, but there are some things that just stick in our craw. They're our shared fingernails to the chalkboard, our collective white shoes after Labor Day. They remind us that, despite surface differences between, say, Texans and Georgians, we are virtually united when it comes to rude kids and other things we "just don't go along with."

(A Southern mama's disapproving "I just don't go along with that" can strike fear and shame in her children, long after they're old enough to get the senior discount at the movie house.)

In some cases, we simply say a silent "bless your heart" and go about our business. For example, if you don't know how to make cornbread and actually put sugar in it, we'll force it down and move on. Other offenses, like odious violations of what we consider basic Southern manners, get us riled, make our blood pressure go up, and can even provoke unseemly utterances (translation: we might cuss out loud) right there in the Piggly Wiggly.

When we polled our Facebook audience, they had lots to say. Here's a starting point of things Southerners can't abide. Let us know what we missed, and we will add to this list.

Impolite Children

One thing that'll never fly in the South? Rude children who weren't raised right and answer precious Memaw with "yeah" and "nope" instead of "Yes, ma'am," and "No, ma'am."

Bad Manners

Interrupting someone who's talking, failing to hold a door open for the person behind you, bragging about yourself, getting so absorbed in your iPhone grocery list at the Winn-Dixie that you run over the preacher's wife with your buggy—file each and every one of those offenses under "rude and tacky."

Instant Anything

Instant tea, instant coffee, instant grits. In the South, we know that good things take time, which is why we don't mind waiting a little longer for special treats like sun tea and super creamy grits.

Garbled Southern Expressions

Someone saying "you-uns," for example, instead of "y'all." If you're going to use a tried-and-true Southern saying, you better get it right.

Hearing Someone Call Coke "Pop"

Aside: Not only do we say "Let's stop and get a Coke" when we intend to purchase an actual Coca-Cola, but we say the same thing when we mean to buy a Sprite, Doctor Pepper, Mountain Dew, you name it.

Bad Sweet Tea

If you're not going to make it right (read: sweet), then don't make it at all. We can't stand going someplace—like Boston—where servers at restaurants look at you like you're crazy when you ask for sweet iced tea. It's even worse when they have the "sweet" tea, but it's nowhere near sweet enough.

Stereotypes

Southerners come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and walk of life. People who think all Southerners just stepped off the set of Dukes of Hazzard need a little Southern education pronto.

Misusing the Word "Y'all"

"Y'all is plural, y'all!" It's pretty easy. Just remember, "y'all" is used to describe a group of two or more people. If you want to get really fancy, you can use "all y'all" to describe for emphasis and to refer to a larger group.

Sugar in Cornbread

Proper tea should be sweet. Proper cornbread should not. Sweet cornbread is called cake. And there's no if, ands, or buts about that.

Fake Southern Accents

There's nothing worse than turning on your favorite chick flick only to be accosted with a bad Southern accent. I promise, we know the difference. We've got a personal vendetta against every Hollywood actors who has ever mutilated a Southern accent.

Patronizers of the Southern Accent

"People from outside the South who tell me, 'Say something again—I just love to hear the way you guys talk.' or those who make fun of our slower speech. The best response: 'I may talk slow, but I'm not stupid,'" says one of our Facebook followers. Aside: The late Callie Mitchell, who had the most genteel old-school Southern accent ever, also had the best advice on dealing with rude people who make fun of Southerners: "Mah deah, you cannot ah-gue with ignorance—you can only foah-give it."

Neglecting to Send A Thank-You Note

We'll always have time to show a little gratitude. If someone does something nice for you or gives you a gift, you write them a thank-you note. That's just the way it is. Don't even get us started on a thank-you text.

Hats During the National Anthem

Respect is a big part of Southern culture, so wearing your ball cap during the national anthem is a big no-no. For that matter, go ahead and take it off at the dinner table and at church, too.

A Misunderstanding of the Word "Salad"

Lettuce, spinach, kale—none of the above are necessary for a Southern salad. You can try to convince us that Strawberry-Pretzel Salad and Pear Salad aren't real salads, but that doesn't mean we're going to listen. As far as we're concerned, if mayonnaise is involved, a salad it shall be.

Laughing at Our Snow Days

Keep your comments about our milk and bread to yourselves, and we'll try to not to laugh when you whine about heat waves when the temperatures go above 80 degrees.

[Johnna]

Hearing Someone Call Coke "Pop"

Aside: Not only do we say "Let's stop and get a Coke" when we intend to purchase an actual Coca-Cola, but we say the same thing when we mean to buy a Sprite, Doctor Pepper, Mountain Dew, you name it.

I don't know if its a northern thing or a Chicago area thing. But this sticks in my craw.
If it is mountain dew, it's NOT coke!!
And although, I do sometimes call it soda these days, I know that the real term that nobody uses anymore is soda pop. And where I come from, everyone shortened that to pop. It really IS pop!!

[Denise]

and it is really bad for you too, lol

[Johnna]

Actually yeah, it is. Only diet for me, which has its own problems, i know. Its just that my blood sugar doesn't seem to be one of them. Also, I don't constantly drink it the way some people do. If I'm just at home around the house, or even at work, its just plain water for me. Ice water is even better.

[MarieT]

ice water quenches the thirst on these argh summer scorchers
please send some snow down under