My name is Elaine and I live in the Ozarks. I am a cradle Catholic, born in New York, raised in New Jersey, taught with the Baltimore Catechism at St Francis de Sales in Lodi NJ. I spent many years away from the Church, but, have been back since 1992. I've read most your posts so I feel that I know you already so will get to the reason why I was searching for a group such as your's.
My mother is ill. She was treated for breast cancer last year and now has been diagnosed with mouth cancer. She has always been a heavy smoker so also has emphysema, and she has type-2 diabetes.
The real problem is that one of my sister's has persuaded her to sign an advance directive that requires the withholding of nutrition and treatment that could save her life. I am blue in the face trying to explain to my mother that this is against Church teaching. She simply doesn't believe it and I am finding that apparently a lot of Catholics don't know this even the Catholic hospital across the street.
I am both angry and dismayed that her parish priest doesn't know what both JPII and Pope Benedict have stated as regards these matters.
Priests for Life and the NRLC website have been very helpful and I have distributed the documentation they provide, but my mother won't read it, and I have yet to receive a response from others. I've gone from explaining and crying to praying and crying. This seems truly to be a pervasive problem that only the Holy Spirit can solve.
When I read that you were both anti-abortion and anti-death penalty, I felt that I could trust your judgment as regards this issue. May I have your input and prayers, please? My mother, Eleanor, is scheduled for a PET scan tomorrow.
Sorry that this is not a cheery post, sorry that it is so desparate. My best friend is protestant, the evangelical kind, and Catholics, around here anyway, don't seem to be of a mind about this. I need to be able to discuss this with those who speak my language, Roman Catholism. Tag, you're it!
Elaine
PS I am new to internet socializing so hints and corrections to my correspondence will be appreciated.
Hello from Elaine
Moderators:johnmc, Johnna, MarieT, Denise
Hi Elaine, welcome!
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. If you have given your mom the information concerning end of life care according to the Church, and to your sister and they still insist on signing the paper, all you can do is keep praying that God will open the eyes of their souls.
Read this article from ALL, American Life League, and see if it will give you some ammunition. It may or may not be something you have read before. One topic of the article, "Starving and dehydrating to death" has a list of things that happen to a person. Maybe if you read the list to your mom she would change her mind. Hopefully your sister will read it as well and decide how cruel this would be.
I will remember your mom in my Divine Mercy prayers during the hour of Mercy. I am so sorry you are going through all this. I am sure all the members here, who read this will also pray for you, your sister and your mom.
Please keep us informed and when you need extra prayers you can post the requests in the forum of the Blessed Sacrament.
Blessings
Denise
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. If you have given your mom the information concerning end of life care according to the Church, and to your sister and they still insist on signing the paper, all you can do is keep praying that God will open the eyes of their souls.
Read this article from ALL, American Life League, and see if it will give you some ammunition. It may or may not be something you have read before. One topic of the article, "Starving and dehydrating to death" has a list of things that happen to a person. Maybe if you read the list to your mom she would change her mind. Hopefully your sister will read it as well and decide how cruel this would be.
I will remember your mom in my Divine Mercy prayers during the hour of Mercy. I am so sorry you are going through all this. I am sure all the members here, who read this will also pray for you, your sister and your mom.
Please keep us informed and when you need extra prayers you can post the requests in the forum of the Blessed Sacrament.
Blessings
Denise
Devotion to the souls in Purgatory contains in itself all the works of mercy, which supernaturalized by a spirit of faith, should merit us Heaven. de Sales
Hi Elaine! Glad you found us. We will be praying for your mom for sure! I know this must truly be a difficult situation for you. I will say that the members of this forum are amazing in remembering to pray for others. Hope we are able to an encouragment along the way.
And so , with every beat of my heart, I thank You, my God, for your great mercy towards me.~Saint Faustina~
Hello Elaine. It is nice to be able to chat with Catholics who are truly Catholic, isn't it? It's okay that your post isn't cheery, the world we live in isn't always cheery. Guess we can have those cheery conversations in eternity...
Sometimes it seems like the whole world has gone bonkers. Things that are obvious and should be second nature to people are considered either wrong or optional. I will pray for you, your mom, your sister... Everyone involved. May God's will be done!
Sometimes it seems like the whole world has gone bonkers. Things that are obvious and should be second nature to people are considered either wrong or optional. I will pray for you, your mom, your sister... Everyone involved. May God's will be done!
Domine Non Sum Dignus!
Holiness is not for wimps and the cross is not negotiable, sweetheart, it's a requirement.
~ Mother Angelica
Holiness is not for wimps and the cross is not negotiable, sweetheart, it's a requirement.
~ Mother Angelica
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Guest
Thank you all for your warm wishes and prayers. Denise, thank you for the link to the article about the pain of starvation. My neice, the daughter of this sister, told my mother that it wasn't painful, in fact, many people at the end don't even want to eat, so this will be a help. A technical question, how do I forward this link to my brothers and sisters? There was another article, the one about the definition of dead being changed to accomodate the harvesting of organs, I'd like to send that also. Again, thank you all for making me feel so welcome.
Elaine, to send the article go to the page that it is on and you can go up and click on the word "File", up there at the very top left corner of your screen. The drop box will have a selection to click on. It should say something like, "send link by email". Click on that and your email program will pop up. Put your sister's address in and hit send. The page will be sent to her.
OR........
Go to the page the article is on and highlight the address in the address bar. Right click on it and copy it then just right click again in the body of an email and choose "paste" and the link will come up in the email.
OR.....
Go to the page and highlight the whole article and copy and paste it into an email.
Hope you aren't too confused.
Also, those who have the idea that no food and water isn't painful..... tell them, "You go first." Ask them to not eat food or drink water for a week and see what happens. Tell them if they experience no pain that you will regress. Sometimes you have to hit a mule in the head with a board to get him to move. Same thing with people. They have to be hit with reality and truth before they can see the light.
We must pray that God stirs something in all those involved and that they come to their senses.
Blessings
Denise
OR........
Go to the page the article is on and highlight the address in the address bar. Right click on it and copy it then just right click again in the body of an email and choose "paste" and the link will come up in the email.
OR.....
Go to the page and highlight the whole article and copy and paste it into an email.
Hope you aren't too confused.
Also, those who have the idea that no food and water isn't painful..... tell them, "You go first." Ask them to not eat food or drink water for a week and see what happens. Tell them if they experience no pain that you will regress. Sometimes you have to hit a mule in the head with a board to get him to move. Same thing with people. They have to be hit with reality and truth before they can see the light.
We must pray that God stirs something in all those involved and that they come to their senses.
Blessings
Denise
Devotion to the souls in Purgatory contains in itself all the works of mercy, which supernaturalized by a spirit of faith, should merit us Heaven. de Sales
Another thing I just thought of that you can mention to your sister and her daughter.
Sometimes God heals completely those with cancer and other diseases and illnesses. Why would they want to take that chance for your mom away and cause her to die from lack of food and water? Here God would be causing a miracle by healing her and others would be hindering that miracle.
Hope I explained that right.
I am starting a Rosary for your mom and this situation right now.
Denise
Sometimes God heals completely those with cancer and other diseases and illnesses. Why would they want to take that chance for your mom away and cause her to die from lack of food and water? Here God would be causing a miracle by healing her and others would be hindering that miracle.
Hope I explained that right.
I am starting a Rosary for your mom and this situation right now.
Denise
Devotion to the souls in Purgatory contains in itself all the works of mercy, which supernaturalized by a spirit of faith, should merit us Heaven. de Sales
Elaine, welcome to the Forum, and I am so very sorry about your mom's condition and the poor advice she got from your sister.
I will pray an "emergency novena" to open the eyes of your SISTER and MOTHER. 9+1 Memorares.
Of course, I will pray for them in Lourdes as well.
St. Alphonsus Liguori recommends "sandwiching" all conversations between two Hail Marys.
Blessings,
Lori
I will pray an "emergency novena" to open the eyes of your SISTER and MOTHER. 9+1 Memorares.
Of course, I will pray for them in Lourdes as well.
St. Alphonsus Liguori recommends "sandwiching" all conversations between two Hail Marys.
Blessings,
Lori
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Guest
All,
I knew that I could find the encouragement needed from your group. As to my sister and neice, I asked them how do you think you would feel if we tethered you to a bed and withheld food and water from you for two weeks? Also, aren't you concerned about placing yourself between Mom and her God? How will you or she answer Him when He asks why she followed your instructions and not His? (I have enough Italian to have some hot-headed tendencies, I call myself passionate.) But, this is past the talking stage. Only prayer will work. Your offering of prayers is a gift from heaven. Thank you so much. I am praying the Litany to the Holy Spirit and the Novena to the Holy Spirit. God's blessings on you all.
E
I knew that I could find the encouragement needed from your group. As to my sister and neice, I asked them how do you think you would feel if we tethered you to a bed and withheld food and water from you for two weeks? Also, aren't you concerned about placing yourself between Mom and her God? How will you or she answer Him when He asks why she followed your instructions and not His? (I have enough Italian to have some hot-headed tendencies, I call myself passionate.) But, this is past the talking stage. Only prayer will work. Your offering of prayers is a gift from heaven. Thank you so much. I am praying the Litany to the Holy Spirit and the Novena to the Holy Spirit. God's blessings on you all.
E
Elaine, we are here when you need us and we are praying. I think you said the right things to your family. Now, God will hear our prayers and have mercy on your mom and your whole family.
Keep us informed.
Blessings
Denise
Keep us informed.
Blessings
Denise
Devotion to the souls in Purgatory contains in itself all the works of mercy, which supernaturalized by a spirit of faith, should merit us Heaven. de Sales